The Ties that Blind
by TraceyI
Summary: Frohike seeks advice from Mulder. Followup to Smart Is Sexier than I Thought, a FrohikeScully romance.


The characters of Dana Scully, Fox Mulder, and Melvin Frohike are the property of Chris Carter, 1013 Productions, the FOX Network, and anyone else whose property they are. No infringement is intended. (Fat lot of good that'll do you in court!)

This isn't much of a story; it's more of a vignette (what my family would call a "character study"). Your understanding will be increased if you first take the time to read my other vignette, "Smart Is Sexier than I Thought."

All comments are most welcome.

"The Ties that Blind"

By TraceyI

Mulder took one last glance around him to make sure he wasn't being followed before sidling up to the tie rack, a trained professional in the field of nonchalantness. He casually picked through a number of garish ties, removed one from the rack, and held it to his neck. Turning to his right, he pretended to ask the opinion of the man standing next to him. "What is it, Frohike?" Mulder asked quietly, gesturing at the tie for maximum effect. "This isn't like you at all," he added, surreptitiously eyeing all the surrounding shoppers in the busy menswear department. "You never want to meet in such a public place."

Frohike stopped poking nervously at the ties in front of him and scratched the back of his head. "Um, Mulder..." he began.

The taller man tried to make inconspicuous "hurry up" motions. "You said you needed help," Mulder prodded. "What did you do? Frohike, did you and the other Gunmen e-mail limericks to a conservative senator again? Charge 1-900 calls to the DOD?"

"Um, Mulder, I asked you to meet me here in the tie department," Frohike mumbled as he waved his hand toward the rack, "because I need help picking out a tie."

Mulder blinked twice, taken aback. "You WHAT?" Mulder and Frohike had asked each other for some pretty strange favors in the past, but this was above and beyond the call.

"I broke the speed limit, two laws of physics, and three Commandments to get here and you're having a TIE emergency?" He shook his head. "Frohike, we're square. I got you a date with Scully. I don't owe you any more favors." To his surprise, Mulder thought he saw one side of Frohike's mouth curl up when he mentioned his partner's name.

Frohike finally turned to Mulder, unsuccessful in his attempt to meet him eye to eye. He suddenly wished he were six inches taller.

"Mulder, this is important," he stated, squaring his shoulders and raising himself to his full height but still only coming up to Mulder's neck, damn him. "I want to look good on my next date with Agen... Dana."

This time Frohike couldn't avoid the smile that inched up his lips. His eyes twinkled with satisfaction as Mulder lost his grip on the tie and fumbled clumsily, trying to grasp the silky length of material as it slipped to the ground like an electric blue eel. "You do not," Mulder said as he bent down and snatched the offending accessory off the floor.

"Yes I do, Mulder," Frohike insisted proudly. "The lovely Agent Scully is accompanying me to my high school reunion tonight." His face darkened. "Listen, Mulder, this is serious. You get gorgeous women all the time. It would really mean a lot to me to show up tonight, looking good, with a beautiful woman like Dana on my arm. Plus," he hastened to add, "I really want to show her a good time and" he glanced down at himself "not have her be embarrassed to be seen with me."

Mulder looked hard at Frohike, seeing a side of him that had not been previously visible. Mulder didn't have many friends, and he wasn't really sure whether Frohike counted among them or was just an irritation he tolerated because of the quality of the information the little man could procure – a cyberpimp. Mulder realized he had always, if unconsciously, thought of Frohike as an annoying, selfish little sexual harassment suit in the making. It had never occurred to him that Frohike might actually be a nice guy who could think about Scully's feelings instead of (or at least in addition to) her breasts.

"OK." Sufficiently calmed, Mulder relaxed his shoulders, took a deep breath, and started flipping through the ties on the display rack, selecting a number of seriously ugly ties and holding the first up to Frohike's chest. "Now that's stylin'."

"Come on, Mulder," Frohike protested. "You said you'd help!"

"You know, you're kind of cute when you're petulant. Besides," Mulder insisted as Frohike sputtered, "I am being serious. I would definitely sport this particular example of sartorial splendor. Serious babe magnet. Trust me."

In a strange gesture, Frohike grimaced and shrugged at the same time. "Well," he drawled doubtfully, "if you're _sure_."

Mulder flashed one of his million dollar smiles. "Like I said, trust me."

Forty-five minutes later, after Mulder had convinced Frohike that he needed a whole new look, the two men headed for the parking lot. Frohike clutched his expensive purchases apprehensively. "Mulder, are you _sure_ I'll look good in this?" he asked for the forty-second time.

Mulder threw up his hands in exasperation and surrender. "Yes, Frohike," Mulder assured him in the type of tone one usually reserves for a child who has asked "Are we there yet?" for the forty-second time. He stopped in his tracks, turned to Frohike, and narrowed his eyes. "In fact, I own exactly that same suit."

Frohike too stopped, sensing that he was skating on thin ice. "But...," he began. He didn't want to upset his friend by asking his fashion advice and then suggesting he had no taste. Besides, he had to admit that Mulder had to be doing _something_ right in the female-attracting department. "Well, if you're _sure_ this tie goes with this suit..."

Mulder flashed Frohike a maddening grin as he started walking again, this time much more quickly, reaching his car in a few paces. "How the hell should I know?" Mulder called just before ducking into the driver's seat. "I'm color blind, remember?"

Scully answered the door, carefully pulling a scarf over her hair in preparation for the promised top-down ride in the Mustang. She did a double take when she saw Frohike standing there in a dark blue suit and new hairstyle (sort of spiky on top but longer in the back). His tie looked like something Jackson Pollock might have decorated when he was a baby and didn't like his strained peas and apricots. Struggling to stifle a giggle, Scully took the proffered wildflowers and thanked Frohike with a quick peck on the cheek, leaving a lipstick smudge that clashed with the blush that crept over his face.

"Frohike," she teased, "have you been shopping with Mulder?"

_Fin_


End file.
